Wednesday, 27 May 2009

appropriate education.

this post is being published in relation to my dear brothel owners' latest post, which started off as an innocent..ish rambling about revision, and then continued to rant in an incredibly disturbing manner.. have a look
trust me, it's good stuff.
from this, we collaborated and have produced some fairly disturbing, but admittedly fantastic ideas about our most beloved history teacher and her secrets..

the class of
"where in the hecky is my clitoris" is naturally, taught by the fabulous, unique.. suspiciously male like history teacher, of name, Stefaniak babes.
the lesson in question is taught at the back of history lessons, when she shoves on a video about Hitler's left testicle, she waddles to the back and tells us the many wonders of how to find the clitoris...
it started quite innocently, although she did not actually direct us to the clitoris, she introduced us to the vajanjan using a live model (thomas roe, he manages to accomadate both sets of reproductive organs.. it's something to do with the saliva..) she simply said "and this is where you insert the dildo.."
oblivious to the worried faces, and nervous glances towards thomas roe's pants, stefaniak babes ploughs ahead with her favourite lesson of the day, and begins to describe her own area of where the clitoris is natural to..

anyone that knows stefaniak babes, will be well aware of her freakin' awesome hair do. i.e. a sleeping badger lobbed on her noggin (:
begining with the word "hair" thoughts of wild hedgerows infiltrate the innocent minds of year 10's, (year 11's are used to her lessons and therefore nudge the desk as close as possible to the orgasmic radiator we call Jim.)
and thats the first of many disturbences from the amazing stefaniak babes..

the next lesson they have, she brings her very polish boyfriend, sorry, husband in. Hitler is of course her first love, and enjoys being a nechrophiliac, (and yes i don't know how to spell that and it's too late to check,) with his very very decomposing corpse.. oh, she knows the whereabouts of his missing testicle..
but anyway..
she brings in her husband, who continues to damage the minds of chavvy year 10s (possibly a blessing..) with stories of the contents of her gigantic knickers..
the scariest thing of all, is not actually the hair..
it extends much further to findings of fish paste, thomas roe's saliva, evidentally left over from an incredibly exctiting and saliva invoking text book session (harry potter, we love you babe,) and most terrifyingly of all,

i apologise for any illness this may have caused.
as frankly, the thought of stefaniak babes naked is horrific enough, not to mention finding bits of hitler in her pubic hair..
i am sure you will all survive (:
if not, tough. there will be similar pleasant postings :D


1 comment:

  1. Ommmmmmmmmg they should shove our misguided souls into an asylum somewhere!!
    I wonder where she keeps good ol' lefty.......
    Twas highly entertaining and scarily close to fact :/
    However, there is now an accompanying poem which you simply MUST read!! ^_^


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