Friday, 31 July 2009

llama llama duck..

"here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama, fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama llama duck"
this is what me and Courtney took great pride in shouting down the road. well, from asda all the way back home, shouting particuarly loudly on the "DUCK !" we did get some odd looks, not that we can blame them to be frank. the appalling tart was ambling along with a pizza and trying to push me into bollards.
t'was a fun day (': we have fit photos of us in new look.. i'm wearing a dress xD. i might dine to put up a few of them. we did giggle when we were in town and on the way home (':

ohh dear, my mom is now home and has seen the catastrophe that is now my face :\

the only real reason it's a catastrophe, is because i went on bebo, now such a rarity for me. i enjoy the fact that i barely touch it :D but basically Seb seent me an email and it's made me all sad and i want him back, blah blah blah, i refuse to moan on because the poor people that i count as my friends have heard it a million times over and 'tis now incredibly dull.
one thing i HAVE learnt from it is, that i look incredibly ugly when i cry. that and my dogs don't bark when my mom comes in as much when i'm all moochy and cuddling them for comfort. sadly it doesn't always work, because they wriggle and run off )':

several things have appeared inevitable to me today. the majority fairly negative. but my inspiration has come to this so you can read it or stop now and go munch on coco rocks you selfish people.

1.) after having an epicly funny day with friends or a single tart, once i get home, things will GENERALLY go down the pan and i will end up moochy, stroppy, or just pathetically sad.
2.) for some god forsaken reason, i will end up hung up on the one lad that managed to dump me twice, and so my first experience of "love" is utterly heartbreaking.
3.) the people i majorly want to talk to when bored hanging out some washing or a similarly pointless task, will be busy, or with their other half, and therefore uber busy.
4.) my internet will refuse point blank to upload photos to my blog, and photos that i can't really bribe Cameron into uploading for me, which sucks.
5.) when i need a hug when i'm sad, it will make me cry more.
6.) coffee miraculously manages to make me feel a tiny bit happier when i'm down. that and blasting out decent music, which is either depressing or rocking or about not giving a shit.
7.) this isn't actually a realisation, it's just kinda creepy how itunes played the song i wanted to listen to when it's on uber random, and that now i'm sad it plays all the music i want to listen to :|

this world is so obscure.

damn. now i need to try and work out how to tell my mom why my face looked like a wave battered cliff face when she came in. this is going to be interesting tbh. surely she would know that it's going to have something to do with Sebastian !!! ARGHHH !!!

i hate emotions !! they kinda suck sometimes.

heheeeeeeee. potter puppet pals in wizard swears ^.^ neville the potato. he's a hotty. it's kinda cheered me up actually (': i love my daisy. i'm going to miss the terrible slag. right. you HAVE to watch this. watch it and giggle otherwise i will cry more. you don't want that. believe me.


cheer me up ?


Thursday, 30 July 2009

poooooof. i look like an afro..

gah. i feel slightly ugly today. in fact i feel like a fatty, when realisticly i haven't actually eaten that much, well. i haven't now i've thought about it. but spending the day lolling on my bed with Daisy then later joined by Scott (and no, it wasn't some kind of absurd threesome) eating coco rocks and watching psychoville on bbc iplayer makes me feel like i've properly pigged out. i mean, realisticly, i've only really eaten about a bowl of coco rocks, 3 cups of coffee, beans on toast, and 4 jaffa cakes.

so i'm hoping that doesn't constitute me being a fatty. although it could do. i should really stop stressing about my weight and looks to be honessst. 'tis not healthy. i mean looking in the mirror i look kinda shabby, only having been bothered to get half dressed so i still have jammie bottoms on, and my hairs a mess.. but bleh :D i'm allowed to be a slob when it's summer and i'm a tad bored.
hmm, my hair's manically curly but frizzy atm, so it looks more like a failed afro. kinda like Cameron A really.. bless him. although it does actually look pretty good when it's been straightened..

ohh i hate technology >.< not what it actually brings, like internet and stupidly long phone calls etc, but more when it goes wrong. makes me want to scream and punch it repeatedly then call it a tard and go off in a huff and over eat on coco rocks (':

for some reason this evening, i have finally accepted that i don't look like an utter arse or twit or raving ugly manic type thing. so yeah, i feel kinda pretty. this is oddddd. gah. and darn, my nails are all soft -.- bugger it. i must cover them in nail varnish that might make them grow strongerer :D

brings back memories of the petit filous advert (': the wonderful memories of being young and innocent.. so many years ago.. as soon as year 6 came along, failing that year 3, i was no longer a happily ignorant child that didn't care about the majority of things in the world.. i turned into a twit that didn't find boys dirty and smelly. although i didn't think that anyway.. i just thought they were a tad odd and rather intriguing. haaaa, i was a tomboy when i was about 7 until abouuttttt 11. fun times were they (':

but now i'm far more image conscious and everything else that goes with being a 16 year old girl really. well, generally anyway. in fact the other day, i was watching several programmes on BBC 3, one was about boob jobs and the other was about being pregnant and underage. i thought it was barbarick to be honest. i mean seriously, i was trying to get RID of my boobs when i was 13. the pains of developing young -.- and getting pregnant when your 14 ! what is going on with the world.. 'tis bad. and fairly disturbing really. i didn't have any kind of relationship until i was 15 for christ's sake !
but now i'm beating men off with a metophorical stick.. HA !

i'm actually not.

bleh, my mom's begged me to wait until i'm at uni before i get a proper boyfriend. in all honesty, she has a point though. out of all the boyfriends i've had that she's known of, she's liked one. well, she thought one was okay because she knew his mom, and she liked Seb.. not exactly sure why but meh, made me happy then.

i want to write a happy post ! a properly happy post ! earlier i was happy for about a minute, but mainly because a photo uploaded to a blog, and Joshua was talking to me, for the first time in aggers it seems. that and Cameron McD-B was on webcam to me and it was nice to see the nerd again (': would be nice if Cameron A would go on actually, means he remembers that he has a conversation going with me.. that and his afro's always slightly giggle worthy ^.^

argh, itchy back.


Tuesday, 28 July 2009


HA !

oh what larks.. i'm laughing manically to myself on my bed of pain with the window of life open and blowing gusts of hormones down my jammie top. i have finally given in to insanity and embraced it while ramming it's ugly head into my tiny bossoms. it hasn't surfaced for the past hour..
i'm a tad concered to be frank.

yesss, earlier today i was fighting back tears of anger when absolutely everything vital i did went utterly knockers up. then as i was teetering precariously on the edge of my bed, attempting to blow one of my beloved candles out, ordered to do so by Cameron McD-B, as he was worried i was going to suffocate. i first rejected his request, then when i went downstairs i flung myself back up them, remembering i'd left a window open so it was highly likely my room was soon to be ablaze. going back to the point, i decided that i was going to give up. eschew all sexual fandangos from whichever blind and dilusional pillocks request them, and let my legs grow hairy untill i can comb them.

although i might actually reject that last idea.. as much as i want to be care free and feministic, i really think hairy legs are simply not optional. urgh.

but yes ! i have embraced my madness and all the rest that darnwell goes with it, decided to let people take me as i am without longer legs or a perfectly flat stomach. i've accepted that i'm always going to be at least a little bit fat. sadly that was the way God made me, although i reckon on that day he was feeling rather vindictive. 'tis a personal opinion i feel (':
i have also accepted that it can work for me to stay single for a bit, no matter if i'm hung up on Sebastian the great noob, or not. i shall have rumpy pumpy and a cosy little boyfriend when i feel 'tis right. my lord, i am a changed girl, now bless me with interchangable iris' please :D

although this week began spectacuarly craply, i have somehow succeeded in tidying my room and throwing a heck of alot of junk out. i have also seen my carpet.
this is for the first time in roughly 14 years, that i have seen the bloody thing. from the age of 2, i abused the space and filled it with cuddly toys, clothes, hair (not intentional), paper, pens, dvds, hair products, erected various pieces of furniture (blame Cam McD-B for the bit of erection. it's his blog.) and just general shit. so now, 'tis reasonably fluff free, dust free, hair free, and my sheepskin rug thing that my mom makes me keep in my room, is lovely and fluffy as i whacked the crap out of it earlier and watched the dust float into the sky. it meant i got covered in dust as well, but it was awesomee for stress relief :D

so now, with the relief of ear sex, (immensly good music) a tidy room, burning candles, and with the thoughts of a free woman, i am now marginally happy. although still not completely wonderful, it's alot better than i have been for the last couple of days.

riiiight, my coffee calls and i have an urge to watch the mummy returns. possibly because i watched the mummy the other day. although i had a Bridget Jones saga, and then shaun of the dead and hot fuzz. you can tell i have alot of time on my hands.. although when thursday comes i get to see my mobile turd and eat COCO ROCKS xD
i love Daaaaais i tell you..



Monday, 27 July 2009

catch my daydream..

and so here i sit in my bed of pain, the rain sheeting down outside my window. what a moody atmosphere. i like it ! i love the rain to be frankk, 'tis so comforting and although it's the middle of summer, i kinda like it. i'm stuck inside anyway so if it was sunny it would only depress me. although in fairness, i am already pretty annoyed and generally irritated with myself.
that would not be because i have failed to read any of the books on my english lit reading list, or that i just can't be bothered to even start any of the work i've been given for chem or history. it's the fact that i really want to be able to write a book. a proper book. the problem i'm having is that it turns into a variation of a blog entry, and therefore i might as well just write more blogs. i already have 3 on the go ! basically i just end up writing anything and going off on tangents as i always seem to. 'tis troubling work lovies.

it would be awesome if i could write a successful book or series at my ripe age of 16, people would actually think i was worth the time of day. whereas i'm not sure they think i'm worth looking at, let alone listening to at the moment. gah.
my bed of pain is actually rather comfy, although the books sticking in my bottom are less than welcome, it hurts. i really do need to tidy my room :\ i keep saying that yet when it comes to it, i tidy a few bits then claim i'm tired and fall back onto my bed to open up a blog and type like a manic on red bull. having said that, whenever i have red bull, nothing significant happens. i've been drugged up on caffine since the age of about 5 for god's sake. i doubt about 30mg more in a can is gonna do much to me. in fact my mom went a bit odd when she found out i had drank some.

i did of course tell her that the amount of caffine i consume on a regular occassion, amounts to probably more than 5 cans of red bull. surprisingly, she said she wasn't worried about the caffine content, more that it was full of chemicals and junk. and in fairness, it does taste like crap. give me a starbucks any day. failing that, a nice cup of coffee from somewhere where it doesn't taste terrible.

hmm, as much as i love my new piercing, i keep forgetting to clean the damn thing. it may have something to do with the fact that i get up fairly late nowadays and my brain doesn't usually rouse until at least an hour after my eyes have began to focus properly. it's odd to think i'm going to have to keep cleaning it for 3 months.. such larks ! ahh well (: it'd better be worth it..

haaaa, Cameron McD-B just rang me for like the 5th time today, blessss, he keeps having to go though ): and he had a metal box thing drop on his head.. i did find it amusing, as mean as that sounds.. but it's the whole cartoon image of watching someone have something heavy dropped on them. although in fairness, i really wouldn't want that to happen to me.. darn. woahh, hello light headedness, oh my body is so utterly fxcked up tbh. i feel i'm a miracle of modern science by still having the ability to function relatively normally.

hmm, my inspiration has run dry once again and i fear this is a fairly shocking post, so i'm again tempted just to update it later tonight with something much better. hopefully then i'll have inspiration at the very least..



Sunday, 26 July 2009

and so i inch ever closer to insanity..

i fear i'm going to kill the usually witty and amusing nature of my usual posts on this blog, but to be frank, i'm rather in the frame of mind for being moody and realistic.. it just seems rather appropriate that i happen to be noticing things that aren't going right or have changed and which i don't like recently.. it's not that my life's being flushed down the pan and it's getting stuck in the u - bend with various floating unpleasanties as company, but a combination of a bitch of a headache and missing alot of things that used to seem so normal have brought my mood down a far few notches. in fact it was only really high because my internet finally agreed to post a bloody photo. granted it's hot and is residing somewhere to the right of this post, but y'know.

what's kinda set it off is the fact that Cameron McD-B is being utterly bloody dilusional about his image, and i'm starting to swear again, it's because i'm tired and aggrovated. basically he reckons he's fat when he obviously smegging isn't. if he's fat then i'm a morbelly obese dwarf for christ's sake. it's like trying to teach a stone that he can't transform into a pool of water. it's just not going to happen. and then it's an overdose of sorry. i mean fair enough, one is okay, but after a while you feel like saying it backwards to see if they understand.. i'm not entirely sure why i've gone on about that actually, basically he's not fat and he's dillusional. end of.

and then ever since his girlfriend decided that she didn't want Joshua to meet me in August, it's almost like he's stopped talking to me as much, granted he's probably busy or with friends or whatever, but it seems like he's trying to get rid of me :\ when he almost always used to text me back, he doesn't anymore, or when i'm texting him at night i used to get a text in the morning saying sorry for falling asleep. i don't know if it's just me being paranoid, which is fairly likely, but i miss the raging lesbian. especially as now i'm not sure if i can meet him in august, and it's looking unlikely because i don't want his girlfriend to go ape at him. argh, it sucks so much thinking about it )':

then there's Tom.. he used to be one of my closest friends.. and now it's practically nothing. we hardly even say hi or talk in general now and i really miss it. when i rang him when i was locked out my house ages ago, it was weird because i hadn't spoken to him in absolutely ages. i hate it how it's changed so much, i really do, if i could go back to what was normal like the hour long phone calls with me high on coffee and jelly beans i frickin' would. i hate that we don't talk or anything, it's utter shit to be blunt )':

inevitably i'm always going to come back to the age old idiot that is Sebastian, and in times of missing things and basically fed up with the world which is fairly contradictory to what i said earlier, i can't help it. i miss the bloody arse. okay so he was obsessed with sex and he was almost as weight conscious as me and he groaned whenever i sang down the phone, but he was there to talk to, to shout at, to laugh at and abuse light heartedly. i should be over him by now and sometimes i think i am, then i think about it and i end up comparing people to him and i feel like a needy idiot. which is actually what i am but ARGH. i moan so damn much. i need to change. i need to get a new hairstyle and a new body and new eyes.
having said that, my eyes are quite nice, so maybe i'll just get some green contacts for ocassions where i want green iris's.

i miss so many things that used to seem routine or plain normal. and thinking about it, i'm going to miss Daisy so frigging much )':
i mean i knew she was going to Lutterworth ages ago, but i still thought i'd see her a fair bit. but then again, we're both going to have so much work to do and then she has theatre groups to go to, alot more friends to stayin touch with and i doubt the memories of GCSE art and history will remain that memorable to be honest. i realise i'm being utterly pessamistic which isn't good, but i think i'm going to miss the memories and watching her fall off her chair and our talk about brothels. gah. tonight utterly sucks.
not only am i being uber depressing and needy and sad, i've also drank far too much caffine so i need the loo every 2 minutes. why was i not given a more capable bladder ? for the love of God.

right, i'm going to try and think of something happy to write to replace this diabolical piece of utter drivvle so i can be happy when i read it back and then move on from the patheticness of my current existance in this mean little world.
GAH ! shut up Rozz.


enlightenment by music and a lone starr..

earlier i actually planned to write to this blog, but when it came to typing a post, my creative juices evaporated and got spent talking to Cameron A and Cameron McD-B. and now, at 01:53, my spirit has returned.. due to coffee, music, and looking at a majorly bright star dancing in the black sky all alone. it seems chirpy (: doesn't have any homies though, poor thing. unlike me when i got my ear pierced earlier. Claire's was full of a lovely bunch of nerds that i love dearly. but then again, mabybe the darling star is incredibly content having the sky to itself to bob about merrily in a complicated jig. ahh, the simple life of a star.. many wonders in the universe and that is one of my favourites.

yaarrrrp, yesterday was the grand day of a mosey down to good old London. i love that city so darn much to be frank. okay, so it's the best place for SWINE FLU !! and getting killed on the underground. but i love it so. it's somewhere i can be in the midst of a crowd, yet feel totally free and alone, but part of something.
confusing does thou think ?
you'd be right (: i like how my confusing little brain works. i say little, but it managed to retain alot. sometimes i feel rather proud of it. it's been put through alot in the whole 16 years it's been malfunctioning. you must admit, it's the work of genius. gosh i love tangents.. but yes, London was hit by a tardy boy, a walking turd, and a raving drama queen. and following closely behind, a hippy and her lesbian loverrrr. we started at Camden Town, an area notorious for the illegal substances and mass tattoo and piercings parlours as well as the hundreds of markets. last time i went it was HILARIOUS. basically, we fashioned a whole wedding styled on leather, corsets, lace and goth wear. we were amused ^.^ however this time, it was a hunt for the fittest outfit and basically a more accurate piss about.
so yes, Camdeners were intrigued by us methinks. especially as the walking turd (Daisy) was in a dress.. and it was raining. pillock. we also were stared at for eating these straight doughnut things filled with chocolate and caramel, as though we were deepthroating them.. and yes, i have photographic evidence (': i also am ashamed as i dithered about like an indecisive fly over a t-shirt, (SO adorable.. love never ends.. arwh) a cartilage piercing, and a mask. which granted, was gorgeous but pricey.
and eventually i went away with a voodoo keyring thing and a tribal earring (for proposed ear puncture). but that was it from Camden. the piercing was like 15quid ! so then we did go to the south bankk, and to the Hayward art gallery we did venture. in between covering for rain and i kinda stripped to change to my orgasmic hoody ^.^ then looking round the exhibitions were.. interesting. basically, the majority had some form of porn portrayed in them i mean for heavens sake. if your that desperate, GET A MAGAZINE YOU TARD.
ahem.. but seriously, KIDS look at them.. this is where the mass generation of chavs and slags come from. 'tis all a conspiracy to indoctrinate the young through art.. HA !

but the best exhibition of all, was the last. it was basically a projecter in a dark room, and a disembodied voice, which Daaais got VERY creeped out at. the projecter was changing from various disembodied organs.. an ear, a foot which twitched, a mouth with an "alluring" tongue, a breast, and best of all.. A FLOATING LONE PENIS !!
the voice was harmoniously calling such things as.. "you are a WOMAN MOUSE" at which point the lips would appear, then "you are a BUTTERFLOWERR" cue the breast, and astoundingly of all "YOU ARE A MEMBERRRRRR" haaaa, at which point the penis appeared, hairy and twitching. god we laughed.. me and my mobile turd began a discussion VERY loudly of how it compared to penis' we may have known and had mutated..
then the foot appeared and tried to kick the penis xD t'was immense i tell you !

so we left THAT as far behind as we could and dined in a very upmarket restaraunt, so god knows how i got in looking like a psychotic imbosile. it was utterly extravagent and totally marvellous. and i got wine. mmm, alcohol. yummy xD then there was the epic drag queen fest of a show :D it was a trimph darling ! magnificent my lovies.. i thoroughly encourage it to be fairrr, it provoked a good number of laughs..
and thenn there was the tube back.. clever idea playing sardines in a 2metre square space with nothing to hold onto other than Daaais.. yes. i fell over xD then me and Daisy were mesmerised by our images in the door windows.. we looked hot i tell you. my hair had frizzed enough to agree in any case.. the evidence is on my facebook :D

so yes. that was yesterday, then today i actually got the nerve to go into claire's and get my ear pierced at the top xD and i thanked God and the bunch of freaks that came to watch me, so Daaais, Scott, Stephen, Grace and Zoeee, otherwise i would have been getting stared at by freaky Hinckley pond life through the window ALONE, as the gun was placed to my ear.. they laughed afterwards as well ! how rude ):
but that's Hinckley amoeba for you ! now i have to try and sleep on my left so i don't kill my ear :\ gah. 'tis effort and pain my darlings.. in fact, i shall go and battle with the pillow right now !

i love you my adoring audience..

g'niiiight lesbos.


Thursday, 23 July 2009

always in the back of my mind..

ahaaaa, this is a lyric from Royworld.. i'm obsessed i tell you !! OBSESSED !! and it's all Cameron Anderson's fault. i blame it entirely on him for sending me the two songs and the sending me the links and programmes i needed in order to download the album for free, and therefore illegaly. it works for me and i only got caught ONCE. so meh :D
but yesss, the lyrics do in fact have some form of relevance in this blog i shall have you know. i don't put them there simply for the fun of it.. or have i.. ?!

you can only hope to find out the secrets i have concealed in my undergarments.
ew. imagine if you kept random things in your knickers. especially if you forgot about them and they were liable to go off or something. like food. say you had not a bag nor any pockets to keep them in, so you thought, "oh sod it" and rammed it into your bra then you forgot about it all day.. comes to going to bed or whatever. urghhh, i really shouldn't have started thinking about this. URGH get out my head ):

having said that, my mom was telling me when she was at work, there was a woman that came in and she wanted to ring someone or something, i can't remember, either way she'd thought she'd lost her mobile so my mom decided to ring it for her in case it was in her bag or anything. and the woman found that she'd put it in her bra. i mean for god's sake, surely it's not hard to remember you put your phone in your bra.. you get a text and suddenly your cleavage bursts into song. well that's a novelty...

on the subject of phones, Joshua still hasn't text me back ): i don't want to text him in case he's busy like he was on the birthday and the twit didn't tell me.. i think that may just be the nature of men though. gah. they are slightly impossible. ohh well.
also, Cameron hasn't text me back either. in fact, right now i feel a tad lonely right now :\ and due to it and the fact i don't really have anything to do, i'm thinking back to Sebastian again :| in fact, to be perfectly honest i've been thinking about him alot today. rather problematic as he probably doesn't even like me.. or remember me anymore.

hmm, feeling gloomy ):
roll on London


Wednesday, 22 July 2009

hurumpy pump.

hurumpy pump. hmm. interesting.
today was such larks, i met up with Courtney booo and we went for a mosey into town, which involved me dropping off my CV and letter of application off at Hole in the Wall. to be frank, i doubt i'm going to get the damn job, which is a bit of a bugger seeing as i could do with the money :\ but it's hardly my fault that i'm staying on for 6th form and because i'm apparently "clever" it means i'm doing a fair few subjects, so no, i most likely won't have a free day in the week to darnwell work >.<
gah ! everything has a tendancy of getting on my nerves right now, mainly the fact, that the one rare time i decide to watch friends on E4, the signals all mushed up and retarded. urghh, speaking of friends, i need to get all the scrubs series. God love scrubs. it's just plain awesome to be frank (:


i am so jealous. Daisy has just informed me that she went to go rape a cinema to see the new appalling acting of Daniel Ratcliffs and where Bumblemore gets sent to the cleaners.. and apparently WON WON gets some action and hermioneee (her-me-owwnnnn) gets the big green monster hump. xD mm.. i think WON WON is a fitty (: well, i think Rupert Grint is anyway, better than Daniel Ratcliff in any case xD ewww, and now Daisy the turd is talking to me about poop. her poop. in fact, how her poop is lovely and cylindrical, and occassionally star shaped. but i still think it's a perfect sphere.. Daisy love her pooop.

and Rozz love.. bras.

Rozz also love Joshuaaa her lesbo xD although there's been a tad of a major belch on the plan for august which uber sucks especially as the reason behind it is utterly daft. but hey, what can you dooo ? apart from moan and scream and demand that the world becomes just and fair, and pray you don't get abducted by Daisy's poop loving aliens because they probe you with floons and sporks and the occassional bife, and apparently they love it when you spew poop at them. and i really am being rediculously and inconsiderately childish about this because i find it amusing. Daisy did in fact make me cry because of her poop, and therefore i think she should get done for Rozz abuse :D

i'm going to giggle.

i've giggled.. and now i've run out of things to say :\ darn. and i cba to continue with rattling on about my day with Courtney, as much as i love the tart, it's just been a fairly normal day for us.. walking down the road with our eyes closed pretending to be blind and so forth..

pip pip !

or more, poop poop.. xD


Tuesday, 21 July 2009

stalkers: a menace to society.

my word i have had an interesting night ! well, interesting and bloody annoying actually. slightly amusing as well as a heck of alot of caffine sent me slightly high and i had a sudden urge to be rediculously childish, and so poor Cameron Anderson got alot of childish insults hurled at him :D in a nice kinda sense.. i'm not totally evil of course.
anyway. the really annoying and just plain irritating part of my evening was thanks to J. my EX stalker, then the lord of all wordly creation.
basically, he demanded i text him, so with a feeling of dread i began to text him, then he digned to come on msn, i'd kinda told him that i was hung up on Seb to basically put him off coming to see me. it seemed to work. unfortuntely it worked incredibly well. he started on a lecture on that i was too good for him i should get over him.. find some decent guy who cares me etc. the same thing i've heard many times. and i respect it from people such as Joshua, but from someone who barely knows me it's a bit rediculous to be fair.i mean i appreciate it, but sometimes there's just NO need for it. so i politely asked about 3 times if he could "please stop" going on with the speech, yet he didn't take the hint, as i don't go for being rude when i've not given them a chance. and then eventually it got too much so i simply told him to SHUT UP. and he ploughed on. i mean what was he ?!?! deaf to obvious plees ?! arghh.
so yeah, then he went on to tell me that i was an immature, naive self absorbed bitch, which granted, was after i told him he found himself far to self important and self rightchous, but in my opinion it was in fact called for. he just would not stop !!!
so yeah. argh. means i don't have to worry about meeting with him or forcing cheery messaages when really i want to delete his number and claim i broke the sim card, or block and delete him on msn claiming that my msn totally screwed up and so did hotmail, and that my facebook was deleted because they though i'd written something abusive.
oh dear lord. i have also got a message from him on facebook. oooo goodeee, this will be fun to reply to seeing as he twists everything so he's the victim. holy lord. ARGH !!

one day he shall see. i recognise many of my faults, hence why i'm aware i'm completely imperfect :D it works for meeeee..
anyway, this has been ranty and i dislike it. so shall later update it with a much more lighthearted and funn one (:


Monday, 20 July 2009

contradictory much ?

so the other day, i was bumbling about on facebook due to boredom, and found that a guy called Cameron Anderson had commented on my wall post.. in fact, the drip hadn't realised that i'd replied like 2 weeks ago but bleh. what do you expect from men ehh ? :|
but yeah, been talking to him a fair bit actually.. he seems pretty cool, but such a sex maniac ! well.. maybe not a sex maniac.. well he might be. i don't really know.. he says he's a romantic, yet if he was with a girl he really liked he'd want to shag like rabbits.. i kinda get it, but it seems utterly well, unromantic !
the most disturbing thing about him though, is not the fact that he relates romance to shagging like rabbits on viagra, but he is so scarily like Sebastian. i mean freakishly similar.
like his style, then the fact that he likes to shag like no tomorrow, then he smokes.. Sebastian used to. and then he inevitably wants to screw me. HA.
sorry, i find it amusing xD

he has some very interesting stories actually.. disturbing perhaps, but intriguing.. but then again some of mine aren't exactly normal.. cinema, Nicholas. need i say more ?
well i guess i do if you don't know me and i haven't told you what happened with Nic in the cinema.
it was messy, i'll say that much.

but yeah, he seems to be the Scottish equivalent of Sebastian Gourge Reene. it's kinda creepy. only difference, he actually talks to me more than Seb did. ironic as anything :D
i'm not sure which one looks better though.. i mean Seb was.. Seb. whereas Cameron apparently has an afro xD hells yes i have to see that :D if he doesn't show me i'll freakin' kill him ! God i'm so pleasant when it comes to making friends :D in fact we were talking for ages last night.. fun stuff.. and holy lord i should not have just looked in the mirror :| i went out with a low top on when i went to find a bloody job, and now my chest is rather red :/

ohhh yeah, i got a new bra the other day, and my god, not only is it comfortable as hell, but it makes me look as though i actually have a cleavage xD only problem with that.. was the fact that i got stared at by odd guys in vans when i was walking all over town. but yeah, the top of my chest is lovely and attractively red :D
okay, i have really odd conversations with Cameron, amusing and i like the way he thinks.. but my God they're odd !

oo, apparantly i'm the female equivalent of him.. hmm.

ohhh i feel full of joy xD
and i'm not entirely sureeeeeeeee whyyyyyyyyy

laaaa di daaaaaaa


Sunday, 19 July 2009

inspiration just come you git.

arghh, i am feeling horribly uninspired today ):
here i am amongst the ruin of my room due to being incredibly wriggly while sleeping last night, god knows how, but i think i turned 360 degrees in my bed last night, then woke up giggling at a dream, that unless you were me and were therefore dreaming it, it makes complete eff all sense and is hardly amusing in the slightest. i would attempt ti explain it, but my thoughts are still on the bit in the dream where i got a kiss.. mm, it was a good kiss :D
although the kiss meant that the guy that was kissing me got dumped because his girlfriend type thing walked in on us and i felt like a harlot.
oh well :D

and that wasn't the bit i woke up giggling to..
no, that bit was where i was wearing huge wedges and was wearing a belly dancers outfit and running up and down a load of stairs in a cathedral.. i kept tripping over them because of my dress and fell face first onto the bottom of a priest and burst out laughing... both in the dream and in reality.
i think it's a tad obscure myseld, but it amused me (:

good thing i woke up actually, because Joshua rang me and decided to tell me that he has yet MORE women issues. i love the fact he can talk to me about it, but i do find the whole thing like a twisted soap opera.
he now has 3 girls that like him you see.
woman a. being his girlfriend.
woman b. being the one that fancies HIM.. ish.
and woman x. being woman b's best friend who wishes she had packed Joshua in her suitcase..
she is coincidentally going on holiday with woman b, so it could result in a massive bitch fight or horrific lesbianic tendancies, as Joshua is in fact a lesbian.

i did advise of course, that he should just be my sex slave which would be so much bloody simpler. lets face it.
all i demand is a few hours a day for sexual needs, and i do in fact return the favour. see, it's not so bad.
i'm sure his girlfriend would ajust eventually (:

oh, and another thing about darling Joshua Rourke. is that fact that he has a tendancy to mix up his hours and days. it's his birthday on Monday, and last night it was 11:40 or something and we were on the phone, i just remember his overly excited butch lesbian voice going "IT'S ONLY AN HOUR AND 20 MINUTES TILL MY BIRTHDAY ROZZ !" of course the drip meant a frigging day and 20 minutes. and i thought i was dim.
he did it again this morning. he thought a day was 12 hours long :|
and he's doing A level maths.
i will actually die laughing if he ever gets a job as an accountant. i pity the poor company that was stupid enough to employ him.
although in all fairness, he does want to be an actor.
which would be okay if he could do fake crying. something that is impossible for him to do, and therefore should go for parts that don't have to express any sadness or manlyness at all. :D

ooo, finally, that thing called inspiration has hit me.
and i just exhausted it all above. :D

in fact i was going to write a post on here about my trip to Leicester with my mom and the delightful evening i had last night with Daisy and Scott, munching Indians and watching Precilla. an amazing drag queen fest. that and actually being EFFING LOCKED OUT MY OWN HOME WHILE DYING FOR A WEE AND HALLUCINATING.
yes, i got locked out from my house because i didn't take a key with me so urm, yeah. and Scott's mom dropped me home and i didn't ring my mom to tell her and she'd gone out to get paralictic with her pal. so there i was standing in a puddle, kicking my brothers car because i was bored, clutching my bladder and begging it not to implode, and staring at the sky which seemed to have white patches of light moving over it in a circle. yes. i was going to be abducted by aliens.

well, at least they might have a toilet. i was so tempted to find a jar.
i ended up ringing Tom actually, well he rang me, and i think he was rather disturbed by the end of the conversation, i was screaming down the phone that i needed a wee and was going to try and do it through the letter box..
ahh i think that is just tooo much information.
i may lob it all into another, less popular blog of mine :D



Friday, 17 July 2009

an event of a lifetime.

something utterly amazing happened today.
after i had returned home from the imense wallpaper perving at B&Q and the mosey around Hinckley with Daisy, boredom struck as boredom embraced me and Daniel Ratcliff's appalling acting in the Chamber of Secrets began to irritate me slightly, i decided to fiddle with my lovely long, slightly gingerish locks.
and, miracle of miracles, IT STARTED TO BEHAVE ! |:
i was utterly dumbfounded to find, that my fringe, actually decided to pay attention to me and obey my 200 degree straightners.

so not only do i have pretty eyes due to excessive use of kohl, a lovely diet of yoghurt and ryvita and phili, i have finally got a fringe that looks pretty darn fine !
it's take me many years to find a fringe that doesn't make me look like an escapee from the horror that is Jane Eyre. that book will be the bloody death of me, i kid you not.
having said that, i have persuaded my mom to buy me the latest in the Louise Rennison collection, so i have some form of sanctity when i tire of Jane and her pathetic little world.
Charlotte Bronte must have been inconcievably bored and depressed to actually write such a pile of drivvle in my opinion.
the first time someone read it, they should have said, "Charlie my dear little turd, you write complete and utter bollocks and you give a bad name to good novels. from this day forth, you will be known as an utter arsehole for making many millions of A level english lit students suffer."


how am i going to survive this horrendous feat ?
i shall tell you how.

with a large doseage of history A level with the glamorous Stefaniak babes, a good few hundred shags in the brothel that is soon to be JCC, and an epic pig out with Ben and Jerry.

this will of course when i have been transformed from a fatty due to lypo, as being a top whore and earning the top sallary, i will be able to afford. so as soon as i've done away with B&J, i can have them sucked out of my rapidly growing body :D
my life is sorted.
all that's left to do is have ninja babies with Tom, get to 30 to finally have my secret and erotic fantasies performed, and finally turn JCC into a fully legal and opperative brothel by the end of 2011.
if you wish to contact the brothel in progress, you can call 01455 632182.
i'm sure they will be willing to answer any questions you may have (:

right, i must go back to my darling book, as my foot has gone dead while iive been typing this absolute drivvle.
having said that, i do hope you like it, i spend many hours pouring over my beloved blog, and aware as i am that a fair few posts are utter tripe, i write it for the needs of others. and my own really :L



Thursday, 16 July 2009


oh my lord i am turning into a proper fatty.
i have fashioned myself a make shift diet. kinda DIY with calories.
basically it means i'm not letting myself eat chocolate and shite anymore, which is rather sad but it might do my complexion some good (:
but as much as i'm restricting the chocolate and trying to eat less, today i have found myself glomping a heck of alot.

my breakfast consisted of coco stars and moons with milk and tropical fruit juice
then lunch was two toffee yoghurts, *sends prayer to Jesus for inventing them* two ryvita thins with phili and eff only knows how many cups of coffee were consumed.
if i die. it won't be due to clogged arteries, it will be because of caffine overdose.
so yeah.
in between coffee and yoghurt, i have also managed to chomp through a quarter of a bag of peanuts.
and now i feel incredibly sick
and fat.
i'm like a ginger heffalump. it's disgusting. although i still think my eyes look pretty (:

see, i really do think i'm ill.
i'm begining to think of myself as almost attractive.
i'm not entirely sure why, as due to being on holiday and consuming numerous amounts of chips, my bottom is now in good competition with Dawn French's. lovely as the old girl is, her bottom is rather meaty.
however, although my bottom may have got larger, so has my bust !!
it's a miracle of modern science !


and yes, i'm happy not to be a flat chested tubby poo.

hrmm, i'm considering taking up yoga.. it's supposed to be soothing and very good exercise.
mmm, bendinesss.. that could come in handy if i find i ever have to do the limbo on holiday or at work.
although to be fair, if my basoomas continue growing, i may end up knocking the stick off and therefore defeating the point.

haaa, reminds me of Joshuaaa actually.
poor sod, bless him, when he rang me on holiday he decided to tell me why a women's breasty business is so nice.
sadly all he could come up with, was "it's just so... nice !"
i mean he could have been more creative, such as, "they provide a comfy cushion" or, "they're simply so sexually arousing" something INTERESTING ! :D

in other Joshua related ramblings, when he rang me today, he called me a bitch so i decided to repeatedly shout down the phone in a loving and arousing tone "JOSHUAAA IS A TARDY BOYYYY"
and yes, i did do that repeatedly :D
i had fun.
then went back to watch Harry Potter not get killed by a bloke with a face on the back of his head and a rather alluring turban..

right, i have just smudged all the black junk around my eye, so i'm going to pop off and join the zoo as a panda impersonator.

loveeee !



today has in fact been rather enlightening, as i dared to venture into the world of interior design, or in my case, bedroom revamp.
as those who know me and have deigned to set foot inside my boudouir, they will know that the decoration is an utter abomination. that and the furniture, apart from my draws, that's pretty much all that's any good in my room.
i have finally persuaded my darling mother to let me redecorate my room this summer, hence the delve into homebase and a frantic search on google for "oriental wallpaper"

why oriental wallpaper i hear you ask.
well i simply have a slight attraction to the idea of having wallpaper that has oriental blossom splayed across it in a rather sophicticated and plain pretty attire (:
after endless searching on specific sights, i find the thing i want on HOMEBASE !!
of all buggering places.

but anyway, not only did i find the wallpaper that i so desired, i also found a rather nice pattern that's kinda william morris ish, but modern and rater sheek.
see, now i have a dilema of which wallpaper to go for !
although i have managed to find a gorgeous light shade, so at least that's sorted :D

good God, my life must be extremely dull, or i'm just incredibly bored to actually be writing about
for effs sake.

haaa, did make me laugh actually, my brother has somehow managed to spill petrol all over the conservatory and that means all over the computers, all 8 of them. over plug sockets, internet routers, literally, everything.
it stinks.
at first it was actually kinda nice, now it's just vomit provoking.
and as my brother has a tendancy to fiddle with lighters when he's round there, i can see the house blowing up in one spectacular fire ball :D
so if i never write another blog again, i've been catapulted 700 metres into the sky on a bed of fire (:

on a positive note, i finally managed to get Joshua's card yesterday, and have written it and sent it off to the butch lesbian in time for his birthday on the 20th (:
unfortunately for him, i have written an absolute essay in the card, which is a miracle in itself as the card was relatively small, due to the fact i was broke and still have to give my brother his fiver back.
good god i need a job !!


Wednesday, 15 July 2009

the perfect lyrics.

i am aware that i have prattled on about Sebby and being stuck on him so this song almost explains why, yet doesn't at the same time.

Your song by Kate Walsh.

haven't you heard ?
i'm stuck on a verse
i'm stuck on a boy who fills me with joy
i knew i was wrong to
jump straight on into this picture so pretty
but he is so pretty to me

and he doesn't know just how far i would go
just to kiss him
he doesn't know how i pine

so i make whirlpools
and watch him sparkle
and we'll make love, make magic

and haven't you heard
i've fallen head first
and he loves me so
we're two in a row
just look in his eyes
they're blue as the skies
a picture so pretty
but he is so pretty to me

so i make whirlpools
and watch him sparkle
and we'll make love, make magic

but i couldn't tell you
just tell that it takes you
'cause words don't make
what i make with him

haven't you heard ?
i'm stuck on a verse
i'm stuck on a boy who fills me with joy
i knew i was wrong to
jump straight on into this picture so pretty
but he is so pretty to me

and so you see, that is how i think of my feelings for Sebastian.
although Daisy has enlightened me to the fact that it's purely something that i want that i can't have which is a bit of a bugger but i still reckon it has a very interesting psychological investigation to be dealt with. so yeahhhh (:
however, i do love Daisy my lovely whore barrel. but i'm still a tardy boy that has no control over her emotions nor feelings :D


insanity ? perhaps..

now you see, last night i was not only marginally depressed but i was also extremely bored. this was mainly due to a distinct lack of a working internet, as tiscali fails yet again to provide the service we EFFING PAY FOR. ahem.
but yes, pushed to the brink of madness and the world of which i am entirely familiar, i decided to skip merrily over the threshold and enter the world of which many residents are regular sex slaves of mine.

lately i have been watching the fabulous sweeny todd. it is the inevitable charm of
"ladies and gentlemen, may i have your attention perleaseeeee ?"

an obvious and very typical reply to this, this being the reply i was giving myself while singing the same line repeatedly for roughly an hour before i moved on to an incredibly riveting conversation, yes, with myself, pretending to be both sides of the conversation. only this was "with" Sebastian. interesting.

anyway, my reply to this was, "of course not you little turd, what do you think i am ? a frigging jelly that has no sense of smell and has a desire to grow hair from piss and ink ? or rather "pirelli's miracle elixir"
i mean in all honesty ! actually the kid singing it was rather adorable.
the kinda kid you just wanna hug and watch them suffer as you lump the poor sod with barbies at the age of 8..

i have never actually done that so i can't really say it's an enthralling experience, but i urge you to try it :D
so yes, i had a good hours worth of entertainment humming parts of the elixir song to myself, and lobbing replies at the screen of my laptop which was probably playing some form of Harry Potter film. i'm sorry, but the acting really is an abomination. so Daniel Ratcliff and whoever plays Ron, who i think looks vaguely attractive now tbh.. my tastes are a tad obscure, i shall admit.
moving on from my declaration of love to Ronald babes, and from sexy sweeny. he can give me a shave any timeee.
i then proceeded to have the most intriguing conversation with myself about and to Sebby.
although it was really myself doing both my side and his of the conversation, so everything went my way and i got what i wanted and we had many sexual fandangos and a kazillion children.
i have to say though, i reckon a wasp sting is possibly more painful than childbirth. i can't say for certain as my conversation with myself last night didn't include the pains of labour. but bloody hell my foot swelled when some little sod of a wasp decided to go on a PMT rampage and ravage my innocent foot with it's effing buttocks.

god. if only i was a wasp.
i think i'd be rather nice actually. obviously i'd have to be the queen and therefore get all the men to do the work and basically shag whoever i fancied. so it would just be a big swarm of Sebastian wasps. even though he's a twat and tosser and i'm irrevocably obsessed. christ i need help. either that or a big muscley manly type man to come and sex me. i swear i'm not a nymphomaniac y'know..
but yes, i would be a rather pleasant wasp, i would not force my unwanted sharp butt cheeks on anyone less deserving than utter chavs, that or people who try to hit me. i think that's rather harsh. all i'd want to do is buzz around, surveying my territory and eating other girl wasps cause i'd be so much better and rule supreme.

i think i may have to leave you and continue to consider reincarnation as a wasp..

arrevedeci !


Tuesday, 14 July 2009

smeg smeg effing smeg.

i know before i said i had rejected the idea of being depressing.
but the thing is, i'm so utterly hung up on Sebastian i don't know what to do anymore ):
i have no explanation as to why i am so.. obsessed.
i just want him.

it's irrational yet it makes sense.
it's rediculous yet human
it's pointless and upsetting yet.. no. there isn't a yet for that one.
had to think long enough for the second bloody one.


i don't know what was good about him
well, maybe i do. but i don't at the same time.
i feel myself spinning into an absolute screw up of a life, i think i need therapy and JCC to turn into a brothel so i can have any sense and the irrational thoughts shagged out my mind.
unless of course, i get Elliot as a client, in which case i'll contract AIDs and therefore die, with the thoughts of Sebastian still running round my noggin.
although on the plus side, i will have infected the majority of Hinckley with AIDs and therefore will be thanked for the mass wipe out of Hinckley peoples.

i just feel completely bleh about it all ):
i want him back and i've already lost what little pride i had remaining, by telling him that i still liked him.
in all honesty.
i'm just utterly miserable.
i'm so sorry for going on, i just.. yeah.
i'm gonna stop now as i'm turning into an emotional wreck :/


Saturday, 11 July 2009

arrived back in hell.

i have landed back in the town of the disenchanted and thick.
the town being Hinckley, obviously. duh.

i have returned from the charming seaside city, sorry, i mean town of Borth (:
it may be in Wales which is notoriously wet and windy, but it has the effing sea for fxcks sake. i love the sea. i want to leap in it and float away on the back of a dolphin (saw laods xD) or on an extremely large piece of driftwood.
failing that i would tie bits of driftwood to my mother and model a raft.
i do love the old tart, but we got rather sick of eachothers company. there is no caravan big enough for Rozz and her birth canal owner.
my brother was supposed to come and see us. but did he ? did he effing sugarlumps.

although i have to say, i would in fact love to go to Aberwystwyth uni.
alot of hot guys there. and a beach. and the sea.
and yes, i got dumped on roughly the third day of my holiday.
some say it was vindictive, but tbh, i don't care anymore. my stupid mind has been stuck on the same guy ever since he dumped me about 2 sodding months ago !
and yes, i cannot justify WHY i'm so stuck on the git, it's my brain ffs. nothing makes sense.

on a happier note, i should be seeing my favourite slag tonight, well. my brothel owner.
she brings me sanity, or at least ben and jerry's when there is nothing left in my world worth enjoying.
that is of course, an exception to the wonderful fact that i get to have the stefaniak babes serving, i mean teaching, me for another two years :D:D:D
the jammy old hitler obsessed, hibernating badger fluff has got this whore for A level history :D

i love you all.


Thursday, 2 July 2009

hot hot hot.

is it just me, or is it odd having an actual hot, sunny, bright summer.
in England ?

it's completely obscure ! yet utterly brilliant :D
usually for this type of weather we would have to spend much cash on leaping on a plane and going to Spain or somewhere similarly as sweltering.
as much as i love the heat and the sun, i look like an effing fool.
i mean seriously, my tan marks, well, burn marks make me look like a painting that's been painted by a blind person.
or someone that is a storage container opposed to a letter box..

good god i should not look in the mirror at this moment of time.
i really do look ugly.
i need a loverly hot bath and lots of shampoo for my poor hair which has been battered and bruised by the wind and rolling around in grass with Cameron (:

yesterday was a good day, but certainly not on the internet front.
tiscali.. we're paying for you NOT supplying us with internet ?! how the eff does that work you tards ?!
ohh i am sunburnt from yesterday. sunburnt and have seem to have sprouted suspicious looking marks..
bruises to my mum, lovebites to anyone else :L
but yes. yesterday was good (:
apart from the train was like two hours late..

as much as i like Cameron, i am still utterly confused.. things don't seem to make sense anymore :/
and i have somehow aquired a bruise on my ribs.. only God knows how that got there.

oh dear, shut up brain.

i am going to listen to a song about a guy that wants to shag someone
sounds obscure but the actualy song is SOOOO good.
hootbastank - inside of you
yes, the title says it all (:

right, tata my darlings
can't wait for Saturday (Y) escape this hell hole for a week :D