Tuesday, 14 July 2009

smeg smeg effing smeg.

i know before i said i had rejected the idea of being depressing.
but the thing is, i'm so utterly hung up on Sebastian i don't know what to do anymore ):
i have no explanation as to why i am so.. obsessed.
i just want him.

it's irrational yet it makes sense.
it's rediculous yet human
it's pointless and upsetting yet.. no. there isn't a yet for that one.
had to think long enough for the second bloody one.


i don't know what was good about him
well, maybe i do. but i don't at the same time.
i feel myself spinning into an absolute screw up of a life, i think i need therapy and JCC to turn into a brothel so i can have any sense and the irrational thoughts shagged out my mind.
unless of course, i get Elliot as a client, in which case i'll contract AIDs and therefore die, with the thoughts of Sebastian still running round my noggin.
although on the plus side, i will have infected the majority of Hinckley with AIDs and therefore will be thanked for the mass wipe out of Hinckley peoples.

i just feel completely bleh about it all ):
i want him back and i've already lost what little pride i had remaining, by telling him that i still liked him.
in all honesty.
i'm just utterly miserable.
i'm so sorry for going on, i just.. yeah.
i'm gonna stop now as i'm turning into an emotional wreck :/


1 comment:

  1. I guess the answer to your problem is...
    You want him because you can't have him.
    He's far away, he's sort of mysterious and you know he's bad for you... and you want it!
    All you need is a new obsession, girl.
    And with all this holiday boredom to let your mind dwell on it... pas bien! My dear.. Just wait till London! I'll take your mind off it with cool Big City shizzzzle :D
    Lovee - chin up!


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