Thursday, 16 July 2009


oh my lord i am turning into a proper fatty.
i have fashioned myself a make shift diet. kinda DIY with calories.
basically it means i'm not letting myself eat chocolate and shite anymore, which is rather sad but it might do my complexion some good (:
but as much as i'm restricting the chocolate and trying to eat less, today i have found myself glomping a heck of alot.

my breakfast consisted of coco stars and moons with milk and tropical fruit juice
then lunch was two toffee yoghurts, *sends prayer to Jesus for inventing them* two ryvita thins with phili and eff only knows how many cups of coffee were consumed.
if i die. it won't be due to clogged arteries, it will be because of caffine overdose.
so yeah.
in between coffee and yoghurt, i have also managed to chomp through a quarter of a bag of peanuts.
and now i feel incredibly sick
and fat.
i'm like a ginger heffalump. it's disgusting. although i still think my eyes look pretty (:

see, i really do think i'm ill.
i'm begining to think of myself as almost attractive.
i'm not entirely sure why, as due to being on holiday and consuming numerous amounts of chips, my bottom is now in good competition with Dawn French's. lovely as the old girl is, her bottom is rather meaty.
however, although my bottom may have got larger, so has my bust !!
it's a miracle of modern science !


and yes, i'm happy not to be a flat chested tubby poo.

hrmm, i'm considering taking up yoga.. it's supposed to be soothing and very good exercise.
mmm, bendinesss.. that could come in handy if i find i ever have to do the limbo on holiday or at work.
although to be fair, if my basoomas continue growing, i may end up knocking the stick off and therefore defeating the point.

haaa, reminds me of Joshuaaa actually.
poor sod, bless him, when he rang me on holiday he decided to tell me why a women's breasty business is so nice.
sadly all he could come up with, was "it's just so... nice !"
i mean he could have been more creative, such as, "they provide a comfy cushion" or, "they're simply so sexually arousing" something INTERESTING ! :D

in other Joshua related ramblings, when he rang me today, he called me a bitch so i decided to repeatedly shout down the phone in a loving and arousing tone "JOSHUAAA IS A TARDY BOYYYY"
and yes, i did do that repeatedly :D
i had fun.
then went back to watch Harry Potter not get killed by a bloke with a face on the back of his head and a rather alluring turban..

right, i have just smudged all the black junk around my eye, so i'm going to pop off and join the zoo as a panda impersonator.

loveeee !


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