oh effing hell.

once again i find myself sitting at my laptop, Harry, at 00:39, there's something about that time i tell you..
i have consumed a bottle of pear cider, first one for a while.
boy am i light headed :D
i am also slightly tetchy.. well when i say tetchy, i mean i'm verging on being entirely stroppy
i have also managed in capturing a boy for my every sexual need.
well, otherwise known as a boyfriend, a sex slave is an entirely different matter, have succeeded in losing poker repeatatively with Joshua so i am therefore forced to give him countless sexual favours in the summer, and have somehow managed to fxck up my hand.
and it hurts. alot.

i really am incredibly and unreasonably tetchy.
i hate actually being aware of that and wanting to stop, but for some reason, inevitably, carrying on as you do. like Hitler into Poland. for god's sake you prick, the polish DON'T WANT YOUR EFFING LENDERHOSEN YOU SADIST.
i really think he was a much misunderstood fellow.
who was entirely homosexual, incestuous and had a fettish for moustaches, lenderhosen, jewish peoples and pidgeons.

i have a strange fettish with hitler i think
brought on by two years solid learning of him and his many wizards by stefaniak babes.
oh yes, two more years of her hair, bring it baby.
even on flipping skype my username is hitlersmisses.
bad idea to tell a friend that in the middle of a film in a cinema, daft bat burst out laughing (:
had a good day actually, with Miriam and Daisy, good film, the hangover, highly reccommend do i (Y)

i am so utterly irritated.
i have no idea why ! well i do.. but it's an utterly retarded reason, ergo does not really deserve to be classed as a reason, it deserves to be classed as utter crap that my bloody brain decided was going to annoy me and now i want to punch my brain and stab it with spoons.
FXCK my hand hurts.
and i did nothing to provoke the pain, i mean, wtf !?

ohh dear.
this bra is killing me.
i don't have much with which to fill it but surely as my current situation, that being of an obese heffalump, SURELY i should have some sort of cleavage. but no. instead i get a pair of nurofen for a chest. God hates me. or at least has decided that some people are more deserving of a decent body.
evilness i tell you.
i mean i love God. why can he not love me back ?
oh i don't know, religion constantly contradicts itself, has the ability to start wars, and then muslims claim jesus was a muslim.
for fxcks sake. i swear he was a Jew !!
then there's the veil things. i swear i'm not racist, but in all honesty, they do worry me slightly.
i saw one woman today when i was in Leicester, and entering hell (PRIMARK) where i could practically hear the poor children's screams coming from the heaps of shitty looking clothes.. urgh. but anyway, yes. we were toddling up the escalator, starbucks in hand, i look behind and its a black blob.
well not really a blob, but you get the image. there was no eye slit or anything !
i mean ffs. was she upgraded from a post box to a frigging storage container ?!
no offence to muslims, i just find the idea a tad obscure. what if she walked into something ?! or over heated ?! i mean seriously, must get a tad warm in there.

apologies for any offence..
none meant.

anyway, i'm still feeling agitated and don't really wanna take it out on Joshua or Cameron, or even Carl, poor thing. daft bad shouldn't smoke tbh.
just feel in the mood to leap gracefully out my window and fall like the obese heffalump i am. my toes are obese for god's sake. no kidding, my big one should go on a diet..

right. i'm off to listen to Ronald in the vain search for sanity
enjoy this hunk of junk (:

love to all my many elves.

x