it's only been a month..

okay lets face it, i'm actually crap at writing to this anymore. seeing as it's summer i've had a social life, i've got my ass out my house and seen people (':
only downside to that, being that now when i'm stuck at home i feel opressed and slightly depressed. in fact i'm gradually getting more fidgety and less happy watching crap for half a day. 

as for those that started following me a while ago, i'm going on your pages like NOW. 'kay?

since i last tapped frantically, i've managed to get a boyfriend.. not sure how long it'll last but i'm taking it as it comes and i'm pretty damn happy (: poor guy eh?
OH! got my AS results; BBCCD. not too bad (: biology and english lit Bs, chem and history Cs and Critical thinking: D.
that's right, i PASSED critical shit ;)

this evening i went a tad crazy in the field taking photos. i've neglected that as well lately :/ and seeing as i'm doing a shoot tomorrow it might help..

thoughts?
and please, PLEASE check my deviant art; Reginald Tribianni
tahhh (:

laterssss
x

whooosa.

thank you again to any new followers, i'm sorry i haven't had a chance to follow and so on but for once i have a social life (':

and i'm kinda lazy.. i apologise. but i will SOON!

this post might be a tad odd, just to warn. but it might kinda enforce something to myself if i just write it down?

because, i know things are gonna change, i know you're not going to have time anymore. uni, football, work, family, friends and obviously your girlfriend. 
because i'm not exactly easy to see
because you've treated me like crap i am fairly resentful of being treated like a doormat.

but eventually, i'll get over it.


frankly, your brothers kinda cuter than you, you've been having your cake and eating it effectively, i refuse to be treated like a cocking doormat. i want to be treated how i should and not a lightswitch. i think i deserve better friends than you, and i don't want to be treated as something hanging on a line, i deseve alot better. perhaps not the world, but alot better than you perhaps.

i really think i should be stronger.
i refuse to get upset over you anymore. (:
oh, and fyi. i know when you're lying. so don't bother, 'kay?

and lorna, thank you so much (: i love that you put up with my moaning about him and i love that you care enough to make me realise that neither of us should be treated like shit. 
i love you misses (:
x

eeeeeeeee

HAI!
okay, yes. it's been a stupidly long time since i last posted anything again and granted the last post was an angry rant but hey, the world's not perfect and noone's always happy as larry. 'KAY?
i have a proper reason for not sitting down patiently and tapping out a wonderfully disjointed chunk'a crap. y'see, i've been travelling the UK. and by that i mean i went to Borth, then i went to Devon with one of the best friends and then i trundled off to the most exciting and most anticipated trip to London.

i'm a bit of a freak with the extent of my love of London. however if you'd been brought up in a crappy village in the midlands where the most exciting thing was some woman being mugged then you'd understand why i adore london. granted you have to love busy cities and the tube and weird people but still! god that came out in one long stream of thought.

yuss, woolacombe in devon was lovely, the beach really is so beautiful! yet me and dais managed to ruin it by traipsing across the sand in rollerblades. 
yes. rollerblades. on the sand. and yet no one cracked a smile or a snort or even a disgusted look.
what is wrong with those people?!

urgh. it was good. basically (: and i got funny tan lines (': how wonderful.

then i went to london from sunday to friday and it was possibly the best trip down so far (: finally ventured to covent garden which i've wanted to go to ever since i first went down to the city but never did. purchased a gorgeous david and goliath hoody and a cute top. urm, yeah.. national gallery was fun. basically i do not understand art enthusiasts.
went to rural essex on tuesday, not exactly my choice but hey. got some more colour on my ridiculously pale frame and a few photos which have potential. since i've got back i just can't cba. then got to Kensington on wednesday which was fabulous. i turned into a toff and renamed my mother Jeeves the chauffer. seriously, i'm destined to live there.
it's FATE!
i swear..
thursday was a fantastic day (: Hyde Park and pedalos. i loved it so thank you (:

i really love this photo (: among others of courseee.
then i came home friday. it blowed. seriously, i've always been bummed to leave London but for some reason it was worse this year. 
fingers crossed for uni in London! ahh (:

arriving in Hinckleh made me depressed. i had to go and sit on a swing in the rain for an hour and a half.

i aspire to live in Kensington (:
love i do
x

thanks.

well thank you so much for that. you've told me not to be so sensitive.
put yourself in my shoes and see how you fucking feel! i cannot believe that you think i can switch so easily. i'm not a fucking yoyo.

despite the fact that you're fine with doing whatever, i'm actually incredibly picky and careful with what i do so do not think that that was just a fucking breeze for me.

you're the biggest twat i know if you seriously think that i'm suddenly going to be cheery if you want forgiveness. you can have forgiveness in exchange for you getting some sense and a castration.

congratulations pal. i'm angry, upset and incredibly hurt. 
good work.

p.s. sorry for the rant. just needed to vent. (:
x

riiiight

SO! sorry i haven't written anything for an absolute age i've discovered that dA requires less effort and i don't have to think about what to write. i have an absolutely FAB work ethic, can you tell?
thank you to all the new followers (: i'll have a look at yours soon, i do promise! 
and.. i can't remember what was making me feel ill in the last post to who asked, possibly the thought of food or exercise? i reckon the latter though, i do rather love food as my appearance shows. 

anyway.. FINALLY on my summer break. i have seriously been waiting for this since exam leave. i hate education for forcing us to go back for 5 sodding weeks. in total i think i turned up for 3 of them? general feeling ew and the lack of energy i had didn't really flow with the work we were *supposed* to do? i see no issue with that. i did the same quiz in two different lessons one day. 
c'est le point?

just sent a friends presents off (: hope they like them otherwise that was a crying waste of money. well, one of them it was. the other two were cheap and cheery (':
hope they don't read this now..

i really do feel rather sleepy. i've watched sherlock holmes 3 times without paying attention at all. it seems quite futile. 
OH i went to borth for 2 days (: rained. alot. buuttt i got some gorgeous photos, in my opinion they're gorgeous anyway. please, please please check my dA? they're all up there and probably better presented.

pretty? (:
it's a bloody shame that the breakers in these photos which are actually gorgeous. i mean they're kinda rotting and falling apart but they have character! they're being torn down to be replaced by some crappy concrete thing. i'm so much less that impressed.
had to take as many photos as i could.
need to go back though when they're still there and take more (:

OH and i have a fat rib but that's a whole other story (:
laterssss
x

perhaps..

perhaps this is a good thing, things have kinda been ragging on me a tad and frankly the whole idea makes me want to hurl a tad.
right now the very thought just makes me want to hit you with a spade round the freakin' head pal. i can't believe you think that way! okay. now i'm angry. 

i kinda pity the poor guys in town which i scared with my outburst today.
- granted, i had woken up an hour and a half late, had to run to school only to be bored to death for 4 hours by some "futures conference" which seriously made me question the point of turning up. bloody education!

violence never used to be the answer. but right now it seems kinda appropriate?
SI!

do we like?

oh gawd i'm shaking like a leaf. maybe i should eat something?
nah. i kinda like the thought of losing weight and going on a health kick. my body does not make me feel good.
and my poor legs are gonna hate me tomorrow. walking furiously, tennis and a workout will not make them happy!

love you spoooon (:
x

crack a smile

i don't have an excuse as to why i haven't written to this for ages. i think it boils down to the fact that i'm in love with photography and i simply cba.
despite the fact that i've finished AS education's still trying to plague me by keeping me there another week or two. realisticly i'm skipping the majority of these last two weeks, they're pretty pointless frankly. but anyway. how have you all been?! not that i ever get any replies, but i'm being social.

thanks to the few new followers actually (: 

managed to get out of going to a party tonight. granted it's not really an achievement seeing as i should take as many opportunities as i can, but lorna had a point about a guy being all over me and kinda leaving her on her own. she's my spooner for god's sake. i can hardly leave her (:

in fact the guy bought me flowers the other day 'cause he was a bit of a twat for leaving me when he was supposed to meet me. i think i earnt the "right" to be annoyed about that though. tilton isn't the nicest place in the world.
i actually have so much music that i don't listen to :|
i've finally decided on a course i really want to do at uni! don't want to jinx it though, so y'know. we'll wait and see. 

for christ's sake girl, stop whinging. and stop being a shithead! i'm a pleasant child?
tbh i should get off this and take the opportunity to have an early night seeing as your busy. and i was right about the other night (': why is it when i'm right it's just when i don't want it to be?! urgh.

i cut my hair a tad too short yesterday. it doesn't look terrible or anything, but it's just.. shorter than i've had it for a while. granted with my hair it grows back to the length it was in a few weeks: score!

Photography:

not actually too sure about this one. opinions?

i should go anyway. on a health kick yeahhhhh. 
i'm determined to lose some of my flab, it's making me feel ridiculously shit lately.

oh hello moth. i should close the windows..
t'ra (:
x

well hey there

i blame education solely for the lack of attention to this thang. granted i thought after exams i'd actually have spare time to do what i like, but clearly that hasn't happened.
revision and exams ate my time before. god what hindrances!

i'm rather resentful of education right now lets say, it's just the fact that okay, AS levels aren't as taxing as A2 but they're hardly a bag of roses. pretty much everyone i know is completely burnt out from last week, and i still know some people who still have exams. considering biology's already comdemmed us to coursework next week i'm pretty peed. we haven't learnt a thing! i'm not sure anyone cares.
it's about the kidney for christ sake. the most i've learnt is that lorna hacks at it pretending it's mr fraine's head. she's a pleasant child (;
managed to drop critical thinking today though. that was a relief! finally got rid of that horrible little thing. but celebrating by eating was a mistake. and i walked home with saturated feet. tah nick. if it's raning next time you're walking on your own pal. (:

so.. i still have my hair in a towel turban (': 
skating this week has managed to relieve some of the crappiness of JC. my gosh, i have been a stroppy sod lately!

i'm sorry if i've been a bit if a bitch.. i'm glad things are okay though. (:
missed you loser (':

starting my EPQ soon! eeeee, i can't wait. i can do photography for an equivalent of an AS so i actually have something to prove i might be half good at it.

not kidding, it's taken me forever to take that. i had to time it right so i could break into the field next to mine seeing as although mine is full of gorgeous heather, it doesn't quite have the same effect as buttercups for a hippy look.

urgh, i'm so ridiculously tired. possibly because of disgustingly early mornings, just why?! i mean come on.. i'm getting old here.
i need a job, driving lessons and a car please (:
kthnxbai.

i indulged a little in a relatively expensive pocket watch.

okay this post's relatively crap, i'm so so tired and i had a trail of thoughts in the bath but now i'm more concerned about that fact that my fringe is buggering about.
and my internet's being rather daft.

i've decided after eating so bloody much lately, i'm going on a proper health kick. 'least in summer there's so much amazing fruit about (': not to mention ice. iced water is actually amazing. (:

they are rather beautiful (:
one last one maybe? then seriously, just check my devientArt (: reginald tribianni

i'm sorry for being a twit.
i've missed you loserrrrrrrr (:
x

not so good..

pretty much how i feel right now. how my exams are going right now. and in fact.. well. if i'm being uber pessamistic then my llife's kinda following that trend too right now.

i don't know if it's the insane amount of stressing i'm doing over slightly menial exams. granted for AS they do matter if i'm going to get into next year but still. today i've pretty much fucked up biology and especially english. i completely forgot to do language analysis in the first part and in the second part with poetry i forgot the whole structure to an essay.
just fabulous. not good :/

maybe i'm making a big deal out of nothing? i just feel fucking exhausted yet i've hardly done anything. go figure for me? oh wonderful. my internets being a twat as usual, my dogs barking and it's going straight through my head, i'm fairly miserable, i feel like crying and it's Helen's birthday tomorrow.

great. absolutely great.

god i feel pathetic. 
the only good thing today was i got a text making me smile before english, and that i managed to tell the examiner that plath was a crap poet who should have kept her suicidal thoughts to her bloody self.


also got told something today which is a bit.. shit really. 


will someone please just come and hug me?
i really kinda need one.
x

cuts and bruises

one day skating and i'm aching, bleeding, bruised yet smiling inanely. 
how the heck can being in pain make me cheerful?! ah dear. i hope my thumb isn't broken or sprained or whatever. i kinda need to have the ability to write for exams? especially english and history, boy they're gonna be fun! (':

not gonna be a long post, my internets acting like the queen on HRT and i object strongly to it buggering about.
ahh, mary poppins (': blast from the past :D

momma's managed to accuse me of being a smoker and a drunk. 
i'm actually rather offended! for one, i only drink when i'm in good company at a party or with my jackass. and for another, just because there seems to be a weird fag aroma occasionally it doesn't mean it's me! frankly it's a disgusting habit and i appreciate my lungs working as hard as they already are to keep me alive. granted i might not eat perfectly healthily and exercise on a military routine but smoking is one thing that's never going to affect my health. it's a ridiculous waste of money and it smells utterly foul!
- if i wanted to smell like an ash try mother, i'd stick one over my head and be done with it. i like my lungs pink and healthy tah.

rant over (:

scary that me and dais actually revised like we planned today, usually we plan these things but find nice distractions like johnny depp and picking apart orlando bloom's crappy acting. we rewarded hard work with skating and bruises. 
my ass is going to absolutely hate me. 

it's grown on me and i've decided i love it (:

photoshop's a bugger to work with when you're not used to it.
but i had a go and this came out of it so it can't be all bad (:

i think i've obtained tan lines and a pretty glow today :'D
hardcore revision for the next few days i think.. so many dvds and a constant supply of coffee. sorted (':

"it's hard to compromise, when i see through your eyes. it's just a common view; i guess it's lost on you."
- big love for two door cinema club.

i think i like you. (:
x

if i could have one wish..

i'd ask for 10 more 'cause i'm greedy like that (;

had the weirdest dream just before i woke up this morning. it's like a week away from my chem exam and frankly i've done next to no revision since i went on exam leave. mainly because i had to re-learn module one of biology so i was a tad preoccupied. anyway. this dream..
i woke up five minutes before i had to be in my chem exam, and for some reason it was at 10:07? anyway. i realised i'd done absolutely no revision and decided that the exam would have to wait for me to get dressed. when i finally rolled up to school, the girls toilets had turned into the gym in 6th form and barack obama was an invigilator. when i was waiting to go in, i realised i had no clue what in the name of arse nucleophilic substitution was. i was panicking then realised if i came out the exam thinking i'd done terribly i might have actually passed. (reverse psychology and all.) and then in the exam, there were 3 different exams going on, and i was dying for a drink and barack obama poured me a glass of water and offered to help me with nucleophilic substitution. 

halp?

i feel today might be spent frantically revising for chem. may be wise (:

oh my dogs are so darn cute sometimes (:

SO! on saturday i went to a partyyy, which was actually pretty good. but next time i'm keeping charles away from alcohol and her ex. poor thing! she should stop being so dependant on alcohol (;

pimp'd i think (':

my mommaa got me a beautiful throw for my bed :'D it's uber gorgeous. so soft and warm and nom. i think i spent far too much on saturday. lovely new dress though (: but now i kinda want this lovely long one which makes me look purdy and almost elegant! obviously it's only aesthetic, i'm the clumsiest kid i know.

i'll be your lady if you rock my socks? (':
y'know, you're not too bad actually. you love carte noir and that's what matters (;

laterssss (:
x