Saturday, 20 March 2010

oh noes..

Damn you N-Dubz! Granted it's not the kinda stuff I usuallu listen to actually, it's more.. it was on the Top 40 and I just download the whole list and can't be arsed to get rid of songs I don't want to download because it's too much in the way of a polava. Butt anyway. I need you just came on my itunes, Helen had Number 1 played at her funeral and it's the kinda thing she loves.. "I need you, I've been searching all over facebook and I can't seem to find you, I really need to find you." Blame these stupid people for putting me in a reminiscing mood and I relatively mopey one.

I just miss her. Alot :/ It's not as though there's much reason for me suddenly thinking about it really, but it'll be 5 months on April 4th. It's not as though I miss seeing her around, since main school ended and she went to college I hardly saw her. It's more that I keep expecting and wanting her to pop up on msn to tell me about some stupid story about getting preggers. I'm confident that if she was still here now she would probably be up the duff (; that's a joke. She wasn't that stupid. ARGH! Just miss her so much! Maybe I should take this song off repeat now.. Had a dream about her last night :S that there was a car as a tribute to her (don't ask..) and that I was going to it but my mum was getting pissed off that I was still upset about her?!
Having said that, mums sympathy seemed to run out fairly speedily.. *sigh* neicht gut. Feel like having a major cry. How pathetic am I?! Please say this phase passes? Graziee. 

Got an idea to do a tribute for Helen though, finally found a programme to edit photos that's pretty damn decent for my laptop and where you can merge photos together to make it into a kinda montage? I've always wanted an application or whatever to do it! But considering I no longer have an itunes account 'cause my brother stole his back.. bloody HOE. Then it's been an impossibility.

Whooosaaaaa. Better.

But yeah, was playing round with it today, I seem to have contracted some horrible germ in the form of a cold? Not really helped by the fact I'm eating total crap at the minute. I'm thinking after tomorrow a serious diet is needed! Bleh, my slight fascination/obsession/lust for London inspired me to do thiiiiss.. (it could be better, but for a first attempt I didn't think it was bad?)

I did fiddle round with it a tad.. but i think this one's a tad more rough round the edges, I like imperfections (':

ARGH! Britney Spears :| since when did you invade my music library? GET OFF. Ah.. The Stone Roses, now this is bliss (': and so very sweet :'D.

I do love the whole photo editing fandango (: I mean I wouldn't mind the actualy photography side of things but I seem to fail a tad on that side of things. Perhaps I need a better camera? The chunky thangs hold a certain appeal for me (': However.. Being 17 in 9 days means that although I have a certain amount of leverage to work with, I doubt my mom would be happy to spend extortionate amounts on a camera that I might neglect. Plus I rather need a decent phone. My darling Sony Ericsson, currently discarded on the floor since it bounced off the bed.. has served me ridiculously well, proper brick that one. But I really fancy a snazzy nokia. 30 squid a month for 2 years? :/ Hmm.. maybe I should be nice to mom for a little while longer (;

Today's been good, minus the germs, thoughts of Helen, I do love and miss her, but tears aren't a good look on me. I saw my babaaaa DAIIISSSSYYYY :'D she's one of the few people that I can just be me, act and look like a tit but that's how we freakin' role. And yes, Chaaaarles is one of those few (': in fact there's only about 2 people I can do that with, and Charles abuses me. Faaaantastic! Not that I'm complaining, I'd rather be able to count a few absolutely amazing friends on one hand, than have to use both hands, my toes and several other people's limbs to count a load of people who are fairly shitty friends. (:

I like my philosophy :D

Ahh dear, my mouth hurts :| I'm being weird. I think I've pretty much run out of steam which might not be a bad thing.. I'm thinking early night :D. Oh dear, pirate english on facebook is hilarious (; Charles, you're now known as my "spawn" gott'a love the oddness that crosses the mind of bored social networking editors (;

Na'niiight babesss

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